Vivo Vim, Finis Autem Somnium

Dreams are strange things. Sometimes we have dreams that we never act on. You know the ones that it just seems like it wouldn’t ever really happen in real life.

I’ve had some dream in my time. Some of them, I have worked diligently for years to see them come to life. Thus far, they have all ended in failure of one kind or another.

Seems to be some damn curse upon my life. Nothing has gotten better for me. Not able to break free from this evil spell they have put on me.

My projects have failed hard. It seems, no one even really gives a damn. It seems like, everyone is like: “So What?” As if they think what is so great about me that I should ever see success. Well for starters, I have worked for it.

It would be difficult to count the hours of time I have invested in my life working on these projects. I’ve given up friends, TV, and anything non necessary to try and reach my goals. Looking at it now, I’m not sure it was worth the sacrifice I paid for.

Seems nothing is working, and to be frank; there isn’t much more of myself I can give at this point. I’ve seen no return for my investment in energy, time, skill, and determination. So where will I go from here? I’m not able to break the curse upon my life. Seems like its only going to get worse for me.

The sad part, seems no one really cares either. No one has offered to help make it better. You would think people would give a damn. Seems that world is about a million billion miles from here.

This curse I’m under has to be broken. My life has to get better. I’ve not seen a success in twenty years of my life. I’m tired of the failure, the long days, and the pain. Wish it were going better. This lack of success is pushing my buttons. I’ve worked for years on projects to try and make something of my life. Right now, it seems worthless. Its treated like its worthless. Do they value my being so little that they think they can treat me like trash?

I’m out of ideas at this point. My investment in these projects has stretched my life to the max. It seems it doesn’t matter what I do, or how well I do it, no one cares. They are indifferent about anything I do, as if its all for nothing to them.

I think, if you counted the effort I’ve put into making this work, it’s more than they will ever have the guts to do. They certainly couldn’t do it twice.

Bored with the status quo of this junk. Nothing is working out. I’m tired of being alone like I am. I thought these projects would change my fortune for the better, and break the curse upon my life. Seems nothing but bad luck. Dam it!!

Photo Credit: Photo by Zoltan Tasi on Unsplash

Written by Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit

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